Upon entering this fine facility, I was asked by a burly man to show my ID. I can only venture a guess that it got me into some secret club, because then I was able to buy a strange golden liquid. With a smell of bread, the liquid they called “beer” warmed my throat as I drank it throughout the night. As my time at Rumorz went on, I became happier and happier as my mood elevated to a level of total rapture. Suddenly, I had the ability to conquer my fears of public speaking as well as my discomfort with the idea of indecent exposure. Indeed, I was the master of my domain! I don’t know what Rumorz puts in that “beer” stuff, but it holds the key to world peace and total serenity.
Even my fellow patrons of Rumorz shared the friendliest demeanor I have ever experienced. Throughout the night, men I had never seen kept calling me their brother, and the women seemed particularly fond of me. You can imagine my surprise when one lovely lady wanted to escort me home. In fact, she was even too upset to say goodbye when I promptly closed my door and left her outside.
The only peculiar thing about my visit to Rumorz happened on the day afterwards. All of my new-found brothers claimed they didn’t even remember me. Plus, a forty year old woman kept calling me her lover and wouldn’t leave my porch.
Overall, I would recommend Rumorz to anyone willing to have a truly amazing adventure. I award Rumorz ten standing ovations out of five stars.
Please drink responsibly.
by Totally-Unbiased-Reviewer
No comments:
Post a Comment