In last Tuesday’s Presidential Debate, a controversial question surfaced regarding the political involvement of college students. When asked how he plans to appeal to the collegiate demographic, President Obama furrowed his brow and responded with a suspicious glance around the room, and then a sympathetic sigh, “You guys actually think they vote?” Met with only precarious silence, there was a heavy air of unformed opinion until opposing candidate Mitt Romney let out a boisterous chuckle. The audience, then sure of its social acceptability, began to laugh exuberantly; a middle aged woman reportedly pulled out pictures of her college-age son and laughed, “Ha ha ha, he probably doesn’t know there’s even an election.”
However, news of the statement on college campuses across America has not been so well-received.
Just minutes after the accusation, a student at University of Georgia reportedly fell from his second-story balcony, bruising his right arm. He later told reporters, “That was purely coincidental. The railing broke.”
Many other students have also conveyed frustrations about the event. On Sunday, a student attending the University of Alabama opened up to voters, “I thought his name was Herman Cain?” At other institutions across the country, students have been seen carrying on as normal and as though nothing ever happened. In an opinion poll, 0% of students responded, indicating that 100% could potentially be upset by the comment.
A group of students attending colleges from across the country paused to consider the issue in their spare time at an engineering conference in the days following; various collections of students showed evidence of extreme empathy before turning back to their dinner table and resuming their conversation from where it left off.
Such disinterest has sparked an epidemic of false optimism across older generations concerned about America’s political future. After experiencing chronic stress over younger generations being incorporated into a working society, many have completely repressed any knowledge of it. Some have gone so far as to completely block out everything young people say. Employing the phrase “Ignorance is bliss,” a record number of middle-aged adults have gone to measures such as imagining scenarios in which young people care about issues with a closer impact, like matters pertaining to local government. Others have very practically purchased stress balls.
For further investigation, a survey was conducted among undergraduate students. Then, after surveys were left sitting in mailboxes untouched nationwide, a second, identical survey was conducted and sent to adults living among young people, so that they could put the effort into responding on their behalf. After learning that their parents were interested in the results, many students stated that they “kind of resented it more.”
By Jillson
No comments:
Post a Comment