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Friday, March 15, 2013

Women’s Health Exhibitions On Pedestrian


Any UT student can attest to the littered mess of exuberant protests and pamphlet-hand-outs alike that frequently lines the sides of Pedestrian Walkway. Among these groups, the Pro-Life organization is one of the more popular among students, displaying fun images of aborted fetuses and their would-be mothers drawn with devil horns and encompassed by flames for students to enjoy on their way to class. Campus life just wouldn't be the same without the light-hearted, playful condemnation of terminated pregnancies.

Students admit to skipping or doing successive summersaults upon spotting the collages of partially formed embryos. When asked to explain how the images made him feel, one UT student admitted, "you can't help but smile".

Despite the protest's playful reputation, leaders of the Knoxville Pro-Life movement disclosed to The Tangerine that the protests wouldn’t just be fun and games this semester.

"We are going for that shock factor this time around and cutting the sugar-coated nonsense," a Pro-Life leader told reporters, gesturing toward a fetus that had literally been coated in sugar.

Since studies have shown low sensitivity to media among youth, the group's plan seeks to present abortions completely unmediated. Abortions will be preformed in broad daylight on Pedestrian Walkway. Though the service is free for participants, all who receive a free abortion must consent to a few terms and conditions. One of these conditions requires that they be carried off immediately after the procedure by protesters outfitted as devils and that they be tossed into a pit labeled "Hell". "It's good practice for when they really go to Hell," a leader of the movement stated.

To expand on demonic themes, physicians present will likewise be costumed as the spawn of Satan and will only speak in tongues while operating.

"We're trying to make this as realistic as possible," one protestor stated, "and since all abortionists are possessed by Satan, this seemed like a good portrayal."

However, the cause has received criticism, largely in accusations of hypocrisy. In response, members of the organization have launched arguments such as, "We all have to make sacrifices," and "At least we still ate the placenta."

The abortions are to occur on a 360 degree stage with the soundtrack of Jaws playing on loop, and should begin later this month.

God has yet to comment on the issue.


By Jilson

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