Academy Awards Best Picture To Shrek the 3rd

Late Sunday night, at the end of the annual Oscar awards, presented by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, the 2007 classic Shrek Three took home the illustrious Best Picture Award.

The film’s cast and crew victoriously delivered an eloquently prepared speech as Eddie Murphy, who plays the timeless and tragic Donkey, wept silently in the arms of Michael Myers, staring into the eyes of the mass talent of Hollywood’s best and brightest.

“I knew the Academy would come around,” said the film’s illustrious director Chris Miller. “Ten days into shooting, when Shrek was busy pulling ear wax candles out of his ears, I sat in my chair and knew, this train was bound for glory.”

Film critics around the country bashed the Academy, citing the film to be merely the second best in the series, behind Shrek Forever After, because of the latter’s overtones of gender equality and strangely generous views of human nature. Some critics were disturbed by the lack of racist diatribes from Blind Mouse #2 (an aspect many view as central to the character). Majority seemed confused by the fact that the film debuted five years ago.

New York Times Entertainment editor Lorne Manly understands the Academy’s choice, highlighting the beautiful intricacies of the characters Donkey and King as monumental feats in American Cinema History.

“There stands an ingeniously hidden relationship between the King and Donkey, presenting an incredible metaphor to the current plight in Rwanda, which the films director saw coming three years before it began. This is 2007’s Godfather.”

In a year of strong competition from the likes of Les Miserables, Lincoln, and Life of Pi, many critics had not picked Shrek to take home the gold, mostly having written off it’s candidacy during the brutal shutout it was given in 2007.

Manly explained, “It was just too ahead of its time. No one knew how to take it. It’s starting to finally be realized for it’s artistic magnitude.”

The cast and crew are back to work, filming TV specials, infomercials, and the next movie in the franchise; Shrek 6, This Is Still A Thing, set for release in late July 2013.

 Boolean Kapur