Exclusive Interview with Engage

This past Wednesday, the Engage campaign agreed to meet with us for an exclusive interview, in which we talked at length about various issues important to both their campaign and the university at large.

Some of the issues that we covered were policies like Smokey’s Closet, Which would be a clothes closet on campus filled with business professional clothes that students can come and rent out at a very low rate, policies like a hope ticker on Myutk, which counts a student’s hours out to the cap of 120 hours; letting them know when their scholarship dries up, and policies that support communication, collaboration, and credibility with the university administration.

While all these may make for fine talking points, we at The Tangerine decided to instead deliver the hard-hitting investigative reporting our readers so crave. What follows is a transcript of our exploration of the REAL issues:

The Tangerine: Who do you think should be the pope and why?

Christian Powers: Oh, man. Dennis Rodman advocated for the black candidate, but you know what le’s mix things up. I say Dennis Rodman should be the next Pope!

Laura Burgin: I’m all for Morgan Freeman, because who wouldn’t want to go the Vatican to hear him speak? I’d do just about anything he says because his voice is just that commanding, just saying.

Grant Davis: I vote Payton Manning, the obvious choice.

The Tangerine: Would you save 20 innocent people by throwing a baby in front of a train. Do you do it?

Laura Burgin: I’m gonna hope that the people on the train have the same heart that I do. I am going to hope that those people would not only want to save the baby, but would not want someone else to become a killer to save them. So, I’m not gonna throw the baby.

Christian Powers: With 20 people there’s a greater potential for some baby making. I’m just saying. And hypothetically that baby hasn’t lived a full and happy life.

Grant Davis: I’ m gonna clutch the baby to my arms. I’m not throwing a baby.

The Tangerine: If you became president, and on the fourth of July you bought out all of the air time in Europe, what would you play on their air time?

Grant Davis: the words “We would like a thank you” or “You’re welcome!”

Laura Burgin: Probably Party in The USA by Miley Cyrus

The Tangerine: Do you think it is socially acceptable for a straight man to wear a scarf?

Christian Powers: That’s sexist man. As a man I reserve the right to do so.

Laura Burgin: Here’s my thing, if a guy can pull off a scarf I’m all for it. It doesn’t matter to me if he is gay or straight. I don’t think there is all that many guys that can pull off a scarf, Christian included.

Grant Davis: Well you see the conservation position is that a scarf is a waste of material, so I don’t know why you would wear it.

The Tangerine: what do you think of Rick Santorum’s Sex Week event “Satan Loves Fornicators”?

Christian Powers: That’s going to be interesting. Fill me in on it, because I haven’t heard anything about that. Is he really coming to UT?!