Talking Vaginas Grace Campus

This week, UT was chosen to for an extraordinary reading of the Vagina Monologues, with actual vaginas giving the performance. Throughout the nation, this renowned troupe of vaginas uses its unique set of talents to spread awareness about vagina-related issues. The group made a special effort to make appearances at spots on campus where vaginas, talking or no, have seldom before been seen, such as the engineering floors of Morrill Hall.  The vaginas then met with a group of UT administrators, who received valuable face time with the high profile group.

 “The fact that UT was able to attract such a group of individuals,” said one university official, “speaks volumes about the progress the university has made over the last few years and the difference that one student’s big idea can make towards achieving our goal of becoming a ‘vagina-friendly’ campus.”

On Wednesday and Thursday evenings, the vaginas could be seen alongside UT Sex Week volunteers, handing out condoms, candy, and sex tips in Presidential Courtyard and along Pedestrian Walkway.  The vaginas seemed to increase the visibility of the Sex Week campaign, providing eye candy as well as an upfront segue to sex-related topics and questions.  “I’m confused. Are those things real? How is it talking? I think it might be some sort of sentient being,” said a gentlemen passing out Amplifier newspapers.

“With, you know, it all up in your face,” said one student (Cory Flemming), who requested we not use his name, “it’s kinda hard not to talk about it, or at least make a lewd joke or two.”  Sex Week officials said student response to the vaginas was overwhelmingly positive. It’s about time we’ve had a speaker that promotes the struggles of the female anatomy. Besides, we already have a bunch of dicks walking around on campus every day.”

The vaginas’ visit culminates tonight with a finale performance of the group’s pièce de résistance, the Vagina Monologues.  The group’s performance will be aided by appearances by several UT students.  Summer Awad, who will perform tonight alongside the group, said that her experience working with the group has been enlightening.  “Working with a group of such talented vaginas has been a blast.  I’ve learned so much, not only about content, but about delivery.  When I’m up on stage, I almost feel like I’m speaking straight from my own vagina.” Doors open tonight at 6:30 PM.

By: Timmy Turner