The Ag Campus - a mysterious alcove
beyond the railroad tracks featuring wild-looking buildings with fantastic
names. From the secretive Rascheff
Research Facility and the possibly-clandestine Plant Biotechnology Laboratory
to those opaque awnings next to the Central Greenhouse (what kind of mushrooms
are growing in there?), the inscrutable secrets of the botanical world have
been unfolding behind closed doors - until now.
In this Tangerine Investigative Report, we decided it was time for those
plants to see the light of day.
...I mean, metaphorically of
course. Obviously those plants are
getting light at sometime during the day - that's how plants work. Get off my back, you know what I mean.
The prevailing view on campus seems
to be that the Ag Campus holds untold wonders.
“Yeah, dude. They’ve got a whole
collection of carnivorous plants,” says Cory Fleming, one of the students we
consulted before setting off for the Ag Campus.
While this piqued our interest, Cory's story of flesh-eating foliage seemed
unsubstatiated - “Some dude told me at a party this one time.” This wasn’t quite enough for us, so we
decided to take a peak for ourselves.
Unfortunately, it seems the North
Greenhouse merely houses a collection of native grasses. The Center greenhouse houses a variety of
tomatoes. The South Greenhouse houses
basil and other spaghetti-ready herbs.
And... that's about it.
During our investigation we were
able to interview a suspicious-looking man with a tussled beard, a brown bag,
and unsteady gait walking around the Rascheff Research Facility who seemed to
confirm the carnivorous plants theory.
Upon further investigation it was determined the man was actually just
drunk, homeless, and possibly crazy.
By: Timmy Turner
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