Campus Beautification Dazzles Visitors

Dotted along the rolling hills of the University of Tennessee's campus are what have been termed "the gems of the Southland". Infectiously delightful, campus beautification sites have been getting massive attention as of late. Each indicated by a campus beautification sign and attribution to the organization responsible, the sties can be found throughout campus. They have become an integral part of the Knoxville community; it seems life at UT wouldn't be the same without them. 

When encountering various beautification sites, many have had difficulty containing their ensuing awe. Sites have brought some visitors to joyous tears. Others have been seen gaily frolicking and rolling around in the dried up grass within the small perimeters. Not that anyone could judge any onlookers for their emotional release. The atmosphere surrounding outbursts such as this seem akin to that of a wedding or the birth of a baby. It seems that no one is immune to the overwhelming aesthetics. Drunk with passion and joy, many a proposal has been made on any given site.

Some sites have even inspired recent works of art as well as a 2013 Knoxville postal stamp. Tourism in Knoxville has witnessed sudden spikes as word of the beauty has gotten out. Likewise, the number of applicants to the university has risen considerably. There are unconfirmed rumors that a collage of the beautification sites will be featured on newly designed student IDs for students admitted next fall.

In letters to the university one anonymous visitor wrote, "The way they took dirt from that patch of dead grass and, they like, put it on that other patch of dead grass, unbelievable, just WOW." Another wrote that they had "self-actualized" upon laying their eyes on one of the small, desolate plots of land. In one letter, a writer described the sites as "Helen of Knoxville".

To the relief of many, it appears that campus beautification has emerged unscathed from recent UT budget cuts. When prompted on the matter, a student claimed that the sites looked just as unmaintained as usual and that nothing seemed amiss. He went on to add that he loved the raw power of it. "I want my ashes to be sprinkled here," he concluded stoically before silently gazing out into the distance for several minutes.

"I just really like the subtlety of it all," a father on a campus tour told reporters, "It's like, without the sign, you wouldn't even know it was there."

-Jillson