Morgan Freeman Actually God?

    In 2012, a rumor was spread via the internet that famed Hollywood actor and all-around cool dude Morgan Freeman had died. Though the rumor was proven false, the same rumor is spreading again, but this time, it is true, and the circumstances surrounding his death are, in some ways, stranger than fiction. Upon hearing rumors of his supposed death, Freeman reportedly became so enraged that, “simply put, his arteries exploded,” according to Dr. House. The same rumor that had once been started as a joke soon led to Freeman's death.

    Upon examination of the man's body, doctors noticed that there were organs missing from Freeman's body, and several other unidentified organs inhabited the remains. The functions and importance of these are still unknown to scientists and medical professionals. It has therefore been declared an issue of national security that President Obama has made his top priority.

    “What the experts are suggesting is that Freeman may possibly be an extraterrestrial creature from outer space,” Obama explained to The Tangerine in an interview outside Mercy Hospital, where the body was being held. “They're unsure of what to make of it. If he is an alien, then we will have to track down the rest of his family, destroy them, and then act like none of this ever happened. Don't want to scare the public, ya know.  Wait, are you recording this?”

    Everyone knew that Freeman had otherworldly abilities that the average person could not even fathom. He has been seen countless times talking to an unknown source in a dialect that no one knew of, and strangely enjoyed every single episode of Star Trek, even the much beguiled Deep Space Nine. On the set of Bruce Almighty, Jim Carrey noted, “Freeman did all of his own stunts, and even some of mine somehow. It was like he was... a god or something.”

    Pending further investigation, Freeman will be classified under the “Unidentified Beings” file along with Michael Jackson and Rasputin. The U.S. government has procured the body to shield it from the public eye. Meanwhile, the government officially acts as if nothing happened – that Freeman hadn't even died. Tracy Morgan has elected to begin disguising himself to take Freeman’s place saying, “The public doesn't need to know that their favorite actor has died. Let Freeman be...a free man.” Tracy Morgan Freeman continued to smile in spite of himself.

By: Slim Shay Tee