Underclassman disappointed in lack of rioting following smooth transition of head coach

As UT replaced former head coach Derek Dooley with Butch Jones, many freshmen and sophomores were quick to express their exasperation in the smooth, calm transition that occurred. Citing the dramatic departure of Lane Kiffin and the events directly following, some freshman were saddened to see an overall lack of rage, riots, and burning of mattresses that they saw on YouTube some years ago.

“I came here for the football. Only the SEC do we take it so seriously, and I was outright disgusted with the maturity and calm demeanor of the entire student body as Derek Dooley left. I wanted to march down Peyton Manning Drive with an angry mob and storm Neyland Stadium! What happened to the good ole days,” Lucas McCarrington, undecided freshman and suspected douchebag said. 

Although Dooley’s departure was far from unexpected, (he left the school in a three year losing streak for the first time in a century) many were still upset over the calmness of it all. 

“I know we were all expecting it, but why couldn’t Dooley have done something cool like streak through campus or go on talk shows saying the school was all against him from the beginning? That’d been pretty sweet huh? Instead we get some lame-ass, polite response saying how glad he was to have worked here blah blah blah. Pussy. And don’t even get me started on the lack of enthusiasm. Come on guys, let show some school spirit,” sophomore Danielle Crocker said. 

Although the lack of ‘excitement’ and the depth of maturity of the transition process may indicate to some a desire to move on and look to the future, others are still hoping for one last chance for Tennessee to be in the spotlight.

“I still check espn.com on the hour to see if a tell-all book by Dooley has been announced about how no one had his back while he was here, and the NCAA violations he was forced to turn a blind eye towards,” McCarrington said.

By Archibald Krakenbarger