The Student Government Association released a press release imploring the school to cease all construction on campus to relieve the burden on students, while at the same time asking for new and better facilities.“We are gathered here today to demand an end to the incessant improvement projects going on at the school,” SGA said today during an interview in Estabrook Hall.
“For too long we have had to continually dodge workmen and cranes just to get to class, when the school should be focused on creating better educational environments. Have you seen this place? It’s a wreck!” he continued, dodging a piece of 19th century plaster falling from the ceiling.
The SGA Vice-President voiced similar opinions.
“This school needs to double its efforts to revamp the buildings around here, and they also need to get rid of those smelly construction workers. They stare at us when we walk by, it creeps me out.”
“And what the hell is up with that giant hole in the ground behind the Haslam Business Building? We need to cover that up with something,” he continued, referring to the ongoing construction of UT’s new University Center.
After the conference, several students spoke to this reporter about what they thought of the issue.
“It really bothers me that some freshman I will never meet is going to reap the benefits of something I am paying for. What is this, communism? If I am paying for a new engineering building for instance, I want it now! And none of that, ‘It takes years to construct even a decent building’ crap. They build the first stadium here in under a year,” Edward Cunningham exclaimed.
A sophomore majoring in Sub-Saharan Pottery Techniques, as well as being a dedicated alcoholic, continued, “I mean of course it doesn’t take years and years to create world class laboratories and cutting edge classrooms. If it did, then all of the complaining about the construction here on campus would be nothing but self-defeating!”
Hunter Stubbleston, a fraternity member majoring in Wasting His Parents Money, also expressed serious concerns about the direction UT is heading.
“I know we are trying to become a Top-25 school, but let’s just throw a few classroom trailers in Neyland Stadium during the off-season, and call it quits. I’m pretty tired of actually having to walk everywhere. We evolved with feet to work the gas pedal, not for “so-called” healthy transportation.
Besides, if all this construction and tuition are what it takes to create a Top-25 school, I am no longer sure we really need that. What if we settled for like, Top-50, or better yet Top-70?”
by Archibald Krakenbarger
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