Druggies mistake car plant for dub step show

A group of 20 or so dread-locked and groin pierced “dub-heads” wandered into a local car plant, and proceeded to rave to the mechanical sounds emanating from the warehouse’s many electrical drills and cranes for an astounding 14 hours straight.

The facility, one of the nation’s first fully machine-operated plants, was shutdown Tuesday morning when the plant’s manager found three of the fans wedged into the conveyor belt carrying window shields for the company’s truck line.

“Yeah, bro, it was crazy”, stated Taryn McNeal while recovering from a drug overdose at the UT Medical Center. “This dude put on a sick show. He had this laser installation that looked like he was opening the door to the universe.”  McNeal was found passed out next to a sedan door mold.

The group of college dropouts, drug dealers, and drunkards were heading to a local show at The Valarium, when they mistakenly drove 360 miles out of way, arriving at the plant around six in the morning. Upon walking in an open side entrance, the group split up throughout the plant, riding hydraulic lifts, swimming in a bin that stores mechanical grease, and breathing in the fumes from the engine testing units.

Jake Humbrough, a recent UT unrollee, is believed to have stared at his neon green glowstick for 12 hours on end, causing temporary brain damage, and permanent loss of sight in his left cornea. “Totally worth it,” Humbrough said from his hospital bed.

Dubstep has been on a meteoric rise in the past two years, throwing bandnames like Bassnectar, Skrillex, and Flux Pavilion into instant fame, especially with the young adult demographic. The genre, noted by its insistent use of filtered bass lines and lack for any type of genuine musical talent, has started to pack local venues on a consistent basis, startling avid music lovers across the globe.

“I tried one of those concerts once”, admitted Brandon Piles, a guitarist in the local indie outfit Coconut Face. “I just didn’t understand the point. This guy came over and yelled at me about the cultural influence Skrillex has had on classical music for forty minutes. I just kind of walked off.”

The manager of the plant is not pressing charges on the car-plant-crashing concert goers, citing, “These kids are way too dumb and too poor for me to sue them. I pity them. They’re like….animals. I don’t know, I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Luckily, no machinery was harmed in the mishap.

by Toucan Sam